It is with a heavy heart that I am writing this entry today...

Remember Coffee? One of the three musketeer hamsters I featured below?
Well... she's missing... and I really really really doubt her reappearance. I've googled methods of retrieving missing hamsters... but I don't think there's much chance of her being alive right now. It's been a day and a night, second night coming up and she's still missing. Well, I ultimately regret letting her out to play in the dining room even though the doors were ALL closed and everything was confirmed closed to make sure she doesn't get out. However, my mother was going through the rooms to the kitchen and back to the dining room and my guess is she didn't notice her slipping through right behind her foot to the back of the house... and you know how fast hamsters can go...

It was a slip of my mind, and you know, I still blame myself. I've been SO listless the whole day, and we've tried looking all over the house (downstairs since she couldn't climb the stairs), and still no sign of Coffee. Even pulling out the tv, checking every corner and gap, pulling out the sofas... judging by her behaviour these two months that we've had her, she's probably out roaming (maybe not even on the property anymore), perhaps... she fell into the drain by the side of the house, and then followed that to the big drain in front of my neighbour's house, and then... guess what, there is this white cat with caramel splotches and a crooked tail which stalks the house everyday, and she rests right above THAT drain which flows from my house, and she comes to the garden and that corridor right beside the house... and stuff like that, everyday.

I can't even write properly anymore!

No blood streaks... no signs of struggle...
So, she's probably hunted down whilst outside the house (in the drain), or she might have just daintily walked out of the front gates whilst nobody could see her in the darkness, and roamed the streets... or the drains... died of starvation? Dehydration? And we think of her teeth breaking or getting a chill whilst we wet that part of the fur stained with some urine.

No food, no water - except poisonous detergent filled drain water, cats all around the place...
I'm thinking if she does escape this property, she'd probably be a dead, hardened, cold... miserable carcass which will be swept out into sea... and just thinking of the last glance I had of her... poised and looking straight in my direction, furry, soft, cute... clean, happy... Just breaks hearts.

I don't want to keep any more pets if losing them is going to be so heart breaking irritating.
But if that's a fact of life, come on... I should just clench my fist, bite my lip, and face this reality. Sigh. Pets just clinch onto that tiny part of your <3...

[SHIT I LOST SOME TEXT COS' OF FORMATTING PROBLEMS -> STUPID BLOGGER]

Possibility of finding her somewhere =" 0.0001%," ... ... (stupid blogger, again)

I've just watched Marley and Me as well... Couldn't even bear watching the last part with the vet and then the kids throwing the letters in to the grave. I know... I know... some people find it stupid, but I can't watch it!!!

I'm emotional. HAHAHAHAHAHHA!

SO STUPID.

STOP WUSSYING.

It's not normal. WAHAHAHAHA!